Few Definitions!

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.


Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that youcan die Rich.


Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.


Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.


Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"


Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.


Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.


Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.


Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.


Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.


Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.


Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.


Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.


Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.


Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.


Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Some facts that make you laugh

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They
stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Shall we...?

Does love need a reason?

Once a lady, having a conversation with her lover, asked:

Lady : Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?

Man : I can't tell the reason.. but I really like you.

Lady : You can't even tell me the reason... how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?

Man : I really don't know the reason, but I can prove that I loveU.

Lady : Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend's boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!

Man : Ok..ok!!! Erm...because you are beautiful,
because your voice is sweet,
because you are caring,
because you are loving,
because you are thoughtful,
because of your smile,
because of your every movements.

The lady felt very satisfied with the man's answer.

Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and went in comma.

The Guy then placed a letter by her side, and here is the content:

Darling,
Because of your sweet voice that I love you...
Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.
Because of your care and concern that I like you..
Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you.
Because of your smile,
Because of your every movements that I love you..
Now can you smile? Now can you move?
No, therefore I cannot love you...
If love needs a reason, like now,
There is no reason for me to love you anymore.
Does love need a reason? NO!
Therefore, I still love you...

"Sometimes the best and the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, cannot be touched, but can be felt in the heart"